Five things that I love to do
Five things that I hate doing but do anyway
1. evaluate myself in the mirror in every way possible until I’m miserable
2. Obsess about what everyone’s thinking about all the physical things that make me miserable
3. Feeling myself detached from my spirit because of my self inflicted misery
4. Letting myself be okay with this misery
5. Overdose on sugar to make myself feel better, and then proceed to be miserable.
I don’t know about you guys, but my insecurities actually make me mentally sick. Like I feel like I can’t escape this whole ridiculous process in my head that I create every morning I wake up. I literally make myself feel like so much less than I am because of my attachments to my physical self. And I know how incredible life would be without creating this self deteriorating reality. But it’s such a hard thing to overcome in the society we live in, and the thought patterns I have attached myself to through this pace of life. We live in a world that judges and ridicules, that makes magazines filled with famous people who seem to have developed a rinkle, or who obviously had way too much fun with the chocolate cake (which we are extremely envious of, no?) I just want to say, fuck this. We are so much better than that, all of us. But somehow I let it consume me. And I just want to put this out there because I feel alone a lot of the times when it comes to this. I just want to let all of you know, that voice in your head telling you that you’re not good enough, that voice does not define you. That voice is there for you to overcome. For us all to overcome, to truly see people and ourselves in a new light. No matter what you hear, what is inside of you is what YOU are, not someones projected judgement of you. But we must have compassion, for the judgements they put on us are the same as the ones they put upon themselves. And we all know how horrible it feels when we feel like less than what we are, to feel like if we were a certain way, then things would be better, or feel better, or look better, be more attractive, and right, and finally okay… when really, the highest we can feel, is when we just let ourselves be, love ourselves for who we are, for the fact that all of creation has brought us to this moment of consciousness. That in those moments, we feel alive. Held to nothing physical, nothing judged, just energy and love and light and acceptance. AHH! Anyway, I hope this helps some people, it helped me to write about it, so that’s about it :) xoxoo